


No Candy for Cheaters

by FloralEyeBalls



Series: Monster Month [6]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Cute Dorks, Fluff, Halloween, Kids are evil, M/M, accidental face-touching-crotch action, lost in a corn maze, piggy back rides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5088938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralEyeBalls/pseuds/FloralEyeBalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete and Patrick work together to get a free candy bag in a corn maze designed for 8-12 year olds</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Candy for Cheaters

"Fuck!" Pete swore for about the tenth time in fifteen minutes. He had just walked into another dead end. This corn maze was impossible and it was getting too cold to be wandering around in a Halloween amusement intended for children 8-14, but Pete really wanted the free candy bag that was promised when you reached the centre. 

"You too?" Came a voice from behind Pete. "This is like the four hundredth dead end I've walked into in half an hour, how the fuck are all these kids doing this?"

"Kids are evil." 

"True" The stranger nodded and Pete was glad he didn't offend him, people got really offended when he shared his theory that all kids were part of a witch cult. "Wanna work together and see if we can beat this stupid corn maze?" 

"Sure. I'm Pete." Pete held out his hand to be shaken. 

"Hi, I'm Patrick." Patrick said and shook Pete's hand to seal the deal. "Let's do this. On a scale of one to ten how opposed to cheating in this situation are you?" 

"Negative four." Pete replied with a smirk, he knew where this was going. "Are you implying we break the one and only rule of The Corn Maze?" 

"You bet I am, I just wanna get out of here!" Patrick looked like he wanted to get out of there too, his eyes were wide and scared under the moonlight. "Which direction do you think the centre is in?"

"Only one way to find out, get on my shoulders." Pete turned so his back was to Patrick and bent down, as if Patrick was actually going to climb on the back of a stranger half his size.

"Dude...no." 

"You gotta! Otherwise we will never escape." Pete whined, still crouching in front of Patrick.

"I will literally crush you."

"What? You're like five foot nothing!" 

"And you're four foot one!" 

"I work out, Patrick, can't you tell? Now get on, I want my goodie bag." 

Patrick thought about it for another like two seconds then decided who cares? He'll climb on the back of a stranger to cheat his way out of a Halloween corn maze, because why not? People are always telling him he needs to have more fun. "Okay" He says, "But don't drop me." 

"I wouldn't dream of it." Pete replied as Patrick climbed onto his shoulders. He felt like a toddler, a ridiculously large toddler sitting on top of a grown man. 

"Don't drop me!" Patrick squealed when Pete swayed slightly on the up lift. He gripped tightly into his short hair, causing Pete to yelp in pain and stumble backwards. After a few close calls the pair finally stood stably. 

"Can you see the centre?" 

"No...turn around." Patrick squirmed on top of Pete, trying to get a view of the whole maze. Pete slowly turned in a circle and suddenly Patrick could see a centre of coloured fairy lights and children with plastic jack-o-lanterns full of candy. "I see it! It's this way!" 

Pete didn't know what Patrick was seeing but he sure sounded excited about it, so Pete decided to just walk blindly into the corn. Following Patrick's excited pointing. 

"Whoa whoa what are you doing? You can put me down now?" Patrick tapped Pete's shoulder to get his attention after he realised he wasn't about to be set down. 

"It's easier this way, you make sure I'm going in the right direction and I'll make sure you don't ruin your shoes in all this mud." Pete smiled to himself, truthfully, he thought Patrick was cute and his this was his strange attempt at flirting. Pete knew it was stupid but he liked the fact that he could hold Patrick up that long, it made him feel all strong and protective. 

"Whatever..." Patrick muttered in reply.

Patrick kept pointing out the way and Pete kept pushing them through the thick corn. Every now and then Pete swayed and Patrick fingers tightened in his hair but for the most part they got through the corn pretty smoothly. 

"We're almost there Pete!" Patrick said with an excited tug on his hair. Pete's scalp was pretty much numb by this point.

In just a few more steps Pete and Patrick parted the last bit of corn and stumbled into the centre clearing. 

"Hi...." Patrick waved awkwardly at the crowd of small children staring up at him. 

"CHEATERS!" A little girl dressed as a pirate accused in a tone that could command an angry mob. 

"tattletale!" Pete screamed back without hesitation. 

"What'd you call me?" The little pirate demanded, getting up in Pete's face. 

"A tattletale, because you are one." 

Patrick watched in shock from his perch on Pete's shoulders as the angry six year old shoved Pete hard in the thighs, causing him to fall backwards. In Patrick's panic he flapped his arms madly in a blind attempt to save himself and ended up overbalancing and falling forwards, flipping over Pete as he fell backwards. The two ended up a position that could only be described as "69", with Patrick's face pressed into Pete's crotch and vice-versa. The little pirate girl ran away before anyone could blame the fall on her. 

"Sorry!" Pete and Patrick both apologised as they scrambled off each other in embarrassment. 

Pete, still attempting to be a gentleman, helped Patrick off the ground and lightly brushed the fallen leaves from his hair. "Sorry" Pete mumbled shyly, he wasn't really sure what he was apologising for. 

"It's not your fault." Patrick smiled back like he hadn't just been dropped face first into a stranger's crotch. "So are you ready for that candy you carried me all the way here for?" 

"I would carry you anywhere for free candy." 

Pete and Patrick stood in line with all the other children for their free Halloween candy bag, only to find that the pirate girl was manning the booth at the end. 

"Sorry, no candy for cheaters." She smiled evilly while eating a chocolate bar. 

"It's okay, we're grown ups and grown ups can buy candy whenever they want." Patrick replied in a teasing voice, he knew he was being childish but isn't that what Halloween is all about? "Hey Pete, do you wanna go get frozen yogurt and unlimited toppings with me?" 

"Hells yeah!" Pete cheered.

Pete and Patrick never ending up getting the free candy bag, but they did go for frozen yogurt every Halloween from then on.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like an hour while watching Say Yes To The Dress bc I've been busy eating nuggets all week plz don't judge


End file.
